- tales_from_the_duck_side

This is the future? Where's the fucking sexbots?

2005, that sounds like the future to me, and yet, where are all the accoutrements that actually make it the future? Where, pray tell, is my shiny metallic clothing? Where's HAL? And, most importantly, where the fuck are my sexbots? My robotic sexual slaves (or clones, honestly, I'm not picky.) that bend to my beck and whim, moaning, groaning and screaming "JA VUL MEIN FUHRER!!!" while I wear a Nazi costume and slap her ass with a riding crop.

And yet, here we are, where the best the future has to throw at us is the RealDoll? What the fuck is this shit? If I want to fuck a mere mannequin, I'll walk my ass down to JC Penney's petite section. Nay, I need emotion (however false it may be.), I need warmth, I need someone to have sex with who will never have a headache or accuse me of rape (Hey, the bitch had it coming.), I need lube, I need a sexbot. Or a hobby. I haven't decided yet.

And what about all the other stuff we were promised by television shows and books but still don't have? Where's my flying car? Where's my death ray? And most importantly, why the fuck are furries still allowed to freely wander the earth and molest our animals? This is not progress, friends, this is, if anything regression. And I place all the blame for that regression solely on the unmuscled pasty shoulders of the furry subculture!

Most other sexual deviancies have produced something worthwhile, there's a metric fuckton of famous gay people, most chubby chasers now are merely more extreme forms of men who liked their women with a bit of junk in the trunk- Women like Marilyn Monroe, and who fucked Marilyn Monroe? JF motherfucking K! If Kennedy was fine with a bit of extra woman, then I'm fine with people who are fine with a bit of extra woman. Guys like this however, are right out.

But who, pray tell, is a famous furry? I'll give you a hint, NO ONE. You know why? They're too busy dressing up in costumes with easily accessible asses and fucking my dog to do anything at all! Those cocksmoking sons of whores are what's wrong with society today, and in the name of progress, the death ray, and, most importantly, robotic sex slaves, you should do your duty as a citizen of earth and eliminate a furry today.